In life, you are bound to encounter some people who just see nothing but what’s wrong with you. No matter what you do, they seem to always see your faults, failures, and where you haven’t yet been perfected with none of the good.
When you encounter these people, it can often feel like a thorn in your side. Their attacks can raise up a whole host of emotions and anger within, often bringing to the surface things that you did not even know were there to begin with! I’ve had this happen a lot with me, lately, and I have to admit that I found myself surprised and even discouraged by what I saw come from me. I even spent a lot of time wondering if maybe they were right, and all I had believed God had planned for me was wrong.
Fortunately, if you have felt like this too, there is good news. It does not mean that you are wrong about the destiny that God has been speaking to you. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that these very same people have been placed in your life for the purpose of helping you to get where you need to go!
Even though it hurts, “prickly people” are there for your good.
Before we get into that, I’d like to talk very briefly about what it really means when Jesus says to turn the other cheek.
When Jesus spoke saying, “If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off,” he was not speaking of physically cutting off your hand, because we know that it is not your hand which causes you to sin. It is rather the thoughts that you allow your mind to meditate on which drive the action to sin. In other words, your mind tells your hand what to do. In the same way, when Christ speaks of turning the other cheek and giving a robber more than he has stolen, He speaks not merely of avoiding physical violence or rewarding robbery. It is also a matter of the heart.
I once heard a story of a man who lived happily with his wife and daughter. It was said that the man loved God and wanted to follow Him in all he did. One tragic day, two men broke into his house. They robbed him and raped his daughter and wife while the man stood helplessly by. The man did nothing but allow them, with tears in his eyes. He believed he was being true to his faith, because of the commandment to turn the other cheek. When the men realized this, they came back to his house, again and again. Month after month, whenever they felt like it, they knocked on his door, and the man let them in, and these men did the same thing. Over and over again, these men took and violated this man’s family. The man eventually moved in order to stop it, but it was not before the lives of his loved ones were shattered beyond human repair.
This story has haunted me for years. While I do not sit here with the idea of justifying violence, I cannot imagine that God would ask us to allow such atrocities without putting up a fight. I cannot believe this any more than I can imagine He would have us literally chop off our hand. So if there is deeper meaning to this story in allegory, what is it? What lesson is it teaching us?
The Deeper Lesson
In many cases, it does indeed mean that we suffer physical violence, even if it leads to death. When people in authority condemn us to death, we go willingly, without a fight. Also, if we are violated by militant forces and we have no other option but to die, we do so willingly and without fear. We know that it is an honour to lay down our lives for our Faith, and with it comes a great reward in Heaven.
But what this verse is saying goes beyond just the physical. It talks of the flesh being struck and our covering being stolen. This can mean when a person slanders or attacks our character and when they speak against us in order to take the covering of glory that we have within the earth. In these cases, we are always to called allow the violence and do none in return and also to be ready and willing to give up any earthly status symbol or “glory” that we have assigned to our own name.
When Jesus was headed to Calvary, there were people assigned to do unspeakable things. It was not enough for Him to simply die, there were men assigned to perform various tortures. He was mocked, a crown of thorns was made for his head, he was beaten with a vicious whip and the flesh was torn from his back. He was nailed to a cross and lifted up for all to see. Each step of this process had different people who were assigned the task. Can you imagine having that job description?
“Bob, you are assigned to nail duty, and Jim, you get to do the mockery. Khaled, you will rip the skin off of his back.”
Together, these men performed the most horrific act to ever occur in the whole of human history – past, present, and future. Yet, as an example to us, Christ not only did not condemn them or stop them, He actually chose to blot every single person’s sin from the record in heaven. When judgment day comes, they will not have to pay for what they did in this particular moment, because Christ asked God to forgive it, and He did. (Of course, if they do not repent and become saved, they will still have to answer for their other sins in life and will still be judged.)
We see this same prayer also prayed by Stephen, who, when being murdered at Saul’s (Paul) request, prayed the same thing for Saul – “Forgive him and do not hold this to his charge.” I often think of this moment, and I wonder, to myself – Would the blood on Saul’s hands from this moment have prevented him from the destiny God had before him? Saul’s first taste of the Goodness and Grace of God was in this moment, and I personally believe that this was the seed which would lead to what his life would later become.
Like Stephen, when we forgive, the scripture says we bless our offender and warm their heart (priming it to receive the Grace of God). But what if Stephen had never prayed this? The New Testament was largely written and inspired by Paul and his acts. If Stephen had refused to forgive his accuser, would the spark of Grace have touched Saul’s heart, priming it for when Christ would speak with him? Would we even have a New Testament?
Now, again, I do not believe that we are meant to take this verse to mean that we do not protect our loved ones from intruders or to even stand for what is right. Loving others means protecting them. If the man in the story would have understood this, he would not have felt so helpless. However, insomuch as it deals with your own life on this earth (your ego, your reputation, being cheated, robbed, disrespected, etc.) we are called to not strike back and to forgive the sin, even asking God to forgive them for it, as well.
Justice is Terrifying
Last night I heard my pastor say something very true. He said something to the effect of, “The longer I live, the more I come to realize just how terrible the vengeance of God truly is.”
God’s vengeance is more than sufficient to avenge the wrongs we’ve had done against us, and even though we may deserve justice to be served, it is a sorrowful thing to see man suffer the terrible vengeance of God. I can’t tell you how many times someone had violated me unfairly in extreme ways, and even though it would often be many years later, I would see the retribution and just how thorough and terrible it was. It would be so bad, in fact, I would feel deeply sad for the person who had hurt me! His vengeance is always greater, more thorough, and more just than your anger, which is why we’re told to not celebrate when we see our enemies receiving their punishment. But His Mercy is also more far reaching and His patience greater than you can fathom.
As believers, we should always celebrate God’s vengeance against satan, but we should be broken hearted at seeing it against man. This is why we pray for our enemies, because Justice can be a very terrible and sorrowful thing. Although it is required and we do not counsel God on what to do, it is good to pray that our enemies are able to see clearly and that His judgment would be short-lived, quickly leading them to see the Truth while there is still time for repentance.
How wonderful it would be fore every Saul to become a Paul! And if the the deciding factor was up to us in our willingness to forgive, I hope and pray that we would always be ready to give it!
The Purpose of Piercing
If you’ll allow me, I need to make a very bold statement regarding those “prickly people” in your life. I can promise that while it may be bold, if you are brave enough to hear it, it will help you to get where you are going, regarding your destiny.
If the Centurions had refused to pierce Christ’s side, we’d never have seen the Blood and Water that was prophesied would flow from the Messiah. If they never nailed him to the cross, we’d have no Salvation. If they had never ripped his flesh from His Body, we’d never have access to Healing. These people were tasked not only by satan, but this horrible assignment was by God Himself. Each served a role in the destruction of the Flesh of Christ, so that we might Live through His Resurrection.
The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, Even the wicked [are fitted for their role] in the day of evil.
PROVERBS 16:4
Beloved, when people jab their spears into your side, it is for the destruction of your flesh so that He can live in You. Prophetically, this completes the cycle which began with Christ’s own death and Resurrection. This is why we allow people to strike us and we turn the other (undamaged) cheek. Because what is meant for your evil, God uses for your good.
Now I have to admit that when God first spoke to me about “turning the other cheek” being something that we are called to do in order to crucify our flesh nature, I was surprised and skeptical. I even asked Him to show it to me elsewhere in the Word, because this was a foreign idea to me. It was later on that He showed me that Jesus was actually quoting from the Scripture, when he said this! Let’s have a look at the verse He was quoting.
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
Lamentations 3:25-32
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust—there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace.
For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
This passage is difficult. Indeed, the whole chapter is, but yet some of the most pure and important truth is found within. It was so important, that Jesus pointed us back to it in order to show us the process. In His Words and His Life, He showed us the purpose behind the piercing.
The Coat of Glory
Today, the greatest opposition that most of us face is in words. Those who truly choose to follow the Lord are criticized, ridiculed, and almost always stripped of any honour or glory that they have in the world. This is what it means when Jesus went on to say, “If they steal your shirt, give them your coat, too”.
In the Word, the coat is actually symbol of the covering of honour. In Joseph’s story, we see that he lost his coat twice. Both times he did, more honour was stripped from him. The first time, his father’s honour was taken, and he became a slave. The second time he lost his coat, his position of honour in the house was taken, and he became a prisoner. In spite of all this, he continued with excellence and did not strike back, and his final place of honour was greater than anything before it. This was what his dream of real Honour was truly about. The coat was never the real honour to begin with! It was only a part of the process by which the true Honour came. He had to lose his man assigned position in order to find his God given position.
When people try to steal some of your covering, which is your physical position of honour and glory from man’s standpoint, be ready and willing to give them even more, knowing that it is God who lifts up and who lowers down man in their position of Honour.
In simpler terms, we could say, God owns the all coats.
Humility always comes before true Honour. So, when man strips you of respect, titles, or dignity, remember that only God can truly [and finally] give or take away Honour.
The Olive & The Oil
In the Bible, Jesus compares us to olives whose purpose is to produce oil. When an olive is harvested, it goes through process to get the oil.
- The thin skin is pierced
- It is soaked in water to remove all of the bitterness
- It is crushed until the seed within is separated from the flesh
- The flesh is discarded (or eaten!), and the oil is saved
In the same way, in life, you will have people who pierce and rip away at your flesh. You will have events and circumstances which crush you. (In face, in the USA, we have even a saying, “They ate me alive!”)
These are the very same processes that Christ endured in order for the Oil of His Anointing to flow to us and for the seed of the Holy Spirit within Him to be freed for our use. It was through this process that the Resurrection came to be, and it is through this process that we also die and are resurrected in Him!
If you’ll forgive my humour, I’ll say it this way – when you encounter the pricks in life, remember that it is for your good! Even for the piercing of your flesh and for the oil to flow. (I know I might get in trouble for that joke!)
Conclusion
To sum it all up, these are the points to remember when dealing with difficult people.
Do not fight or argue if a person points out your flaws.
They may not see the destiny you have for your life, but that is not their assignment. You likely already have some people in your life who speak Life into your destiny, which is their assignment! When you’re dealing with a person who sees only your flaws, remember what we discussed, today! Without the centurions, guards, and vicious actors in the Story of Christ, we’d have no resurrection power or salvation.
- Without the piercing of the thin skin, the bitterness remains inside the olive.
- Without the stripping of the flesh, the seed remains covered and nothing can grow.
- Without the crushing, the oil never begins to flow.
Turn the other cheek
Be ready to give up your position of honour with man, trusting God to restore it in Justice as He does.
Forgive and pray for the forgiveness when God tells you to.
Just as Stephen prayed for Paul and as Christ prayed for the soldiers, “Father, forgive them. For they do not know what they’re doing. Do not hold this sin against them.”
We do this, even unto death, whether it be physically or in our reputation, because we never know when one word of forgiveness from our mouth may mean a harvest of billions of souls after we pass on, even as it did from Stephen’s prayer.
In other words, we never know when one word of our forgiveness is the only thing separating today’s Saul from tomorrow’s Paul.
Final Note
Special thanks to Dr. Bryan Cutshall for the information on the process that olives go through and his wise messages which have helped me so much over the years.